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12 May 2010
You wouldn't think it, but we get hundreds (if not thousands) of emails a week from StadiumDrives.com readers. Some of them tell us how great we are, others how bad we are. Often, we'll get tips of stories. Sometimes, sites will even let us know that they stole our work, it was a hit on their site and thank us. Others just write in for advice or have questions about their life. I decided to give the old inbox a cleaning again and pick out some of the best (and worst) emails.* If you can't decipher our e-mail address from the sidebar and would like to send something in, send it via Twitter to @JoshCohron.
Go (expletive) yourself. PS - Don't put this on your stupid website that no one reads. - (Name withheld)
Ouch. That hurt on more than one level. At least the tradition of a female writing in to the Inbox and telling her disdain for me continues! Always find the positives, kids.
How does LeBron go from "the greatest of all time" to "a loser" in a 24 hour period? Will he take Todd Pletcher's place on "The List?" I'll hang up and listen. - Leroy, Gravel Switch, KY (Somewhat of an actual reader submission!)
Here's the thing, I still think LeBron is the best player in the league. Sure, he played like crap last night. But, he's also playing for one of the worst coaches in the NBA. Mike Brown looks outmatched this series... BY DOC RIVERS. That would be like getting outmatched against your slow, 8 year-old cousin in a game of checkers. Mike Brown is an abomination, so nothing that happens to LeBron while Brown is coaching him will be held against LBJ.
Also, no matter what the media tells you, there is still at least one more game in this series. Shocking, right?
LeBron won't be joining "The List" (The List is for the greatest losers in sports. Current members: Donovan McNabb, Dirk Nowitzki, John Calipari, Rick Carlisle, Marv Levy and many more!) this year. He'll have one year without Mike Brown before doing so. And, Todd Pletcher was literally 48 hours from joining "The List" when Super Saver... saved him. Get it?
Did you see the story about the 22 year-old pretending to be a 16 year-old and playing high school basketball? He graduated high school, failed out of a junior college, then moved to Texas and said he was 15! - Ryan, Topeka KS
I really respect what this kid did. If you haven't read the story, you need to do so. LINK.
I think everyone has at least thought about doing this at some point, right? I've gone to plenty of high school basketball games since I graduated thinking I could definitely be one of the better players on the floor. I would never actually do it, but it's fun to dream about. I thought about going out to New Mexico or somewhere random one summer and trying this. I think it would make a fascinating book.
Hell, Cameron Crowe went to high school and pretended to be younger to help him write Fast Times at Ridgemont High. No one arrested him!
The problem with Guerdwich Montimere was that he was out on the AAU circuit playing. Rookie mistake! He should have known that AAU teams come from all over to play in these events. Wasn't there a chance that someone from Florida would see him? Of course there was.
Sorry, I just questioned the logic of a 22 year-old who was attending high school for the second time. I really do wonder if he had relations with any of the ladies (or guys). That's where things could get very interesting.
I think a good rule to follow is: If you graduated high school, don't try and go back. If you have been at high school for four years and still haven't graduated, transfer to high school in Haiti.
By the way,what the hell happened to Cameron Crowe? Fast Times is a classic. Elizabethtown, on the other hand, is one of the worst movies of all time. Click Read More or I'll dissect Kirsten Dunst's performance in that "film."
Who allowed Diego Maradona to make the selection for the Argentines? I think we should implement mandatory drug testing for coaches. - @DrCNicStat (Actual reader submission!)
I don't know much about soccer, but I know something about Diego Maradona: He loves cocaine. The Argentine people put a cokehead in charge of their country's most prized possession. They're just going to have to deal with the consequences.
At least the World Cup isn't a big deal to them.
Uninhibited greed or weak players: Which is the primary reason the NBA takes 2 days off between playoff games IN THE SAME CITY?! - @scott_ish (Actual reader submission!)
The NBA players don't look very weak. LeBron is the greatest physical specimen since Goliath, so let's throw out that ridiculous statement. As for the uninhibited greed? I think the NBA just wants to make the most cash they can, and who could blame them? They make a lot of revenue off of the Playoffs. It's not uninhibited greed to want to maximize your product, it's good business sense. It's not like they're showing their playoff games on Versus or some channel like that...
Is that Brubaker always as angry as that last post he put up? Man, get the guy a vacation or something. - Cooper, KY
Brubaker isn't always that angry. He had recently gone to Nashville for a wedding and seen one of our friends make out with a woman in her 60s. Believe me, if you had seen it, you would have been angry too.
Does Sidney Crosby receive special treatment from the NHL officials? I struggle to call it the Michael Jordan rules of hockey, since the NHL isn't really on the same level as the NBA. Maybe we could call them the Christian Laettner rules? - Scott, Georgetown, KY (Actual reader submission!)
If we call them the Christian Laettner rules, isn't that inferring that the NHL is on par with college hoops? I assure you, hockey isn't in the same area code as college hoops. Let's call them the Roger Federer rules. Tennis and hockey are very similar, in that I watch neither.
Sidney Crosby should be able to do whatever the hell he wants when he is playing. If the NHL ever wants to be relevant again, they should try and market Crosby and Ovechkin. A good sex scandal for either of them wouldn't be bad, actually. Maybe they could hook up with the Olsen twins or something.
Another way for Crosby or Ovechkin to get famous would to be play any other sport than hockey.
I know you are a betting man and I am sure you are as excited as me for the 2010 French Open this month. I need your advice on a bet, will Serena (Williams) be taping her penis to her belly or tucking it between her legs this year? - @TylerKY (Actual reader submission!)
I am a betting man. I am not excited about the 2010 French Open. I would have to go with taping to her belly. She wears those short skirts and I think a penis would be visible if tucked under while wearing a short skirt.
Does Tiger's neck have anything to do with his car crash? - (multiple readers)
If you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm, you know there are only two ways to hurt your neck. Tiger has widely been reported to have partaken in both recently. If you can't figure out what I'm talking about, scroll down to the bottom of this page to find out the answer.
While we're talking about Curb, let's have Cheryl Hines be our hot female of the week. What a cougar!
Why is Griffey's nap schedule such a big sports story? With that .200 average, it seems that it would help the team if he didn't pinch hit. - Reginald Murphy, Indy
I can't figure out why any baseball story is a big sports story. Ken Griffey Jr. was just doing what 98% of all Americans do when they are watching baseball. If I had to sit in a dugout and watch a baseball game, I'm sure I would go back to the locker room to "find a jacket" as well. While there, I would probably turn on a Seinfeld rerun and take a nap if the feeling hit me. I sure as hell wouldn't spend my time actually watching baseball. Ken Griffey Jr. is old. Old people take naps. This is not newsworthy.
This was a hell of a cleansing for the Inbox. Thanks for all the actual submissions. You're welcome for all the fake ones. Please continue to submit. Please continue reading. Please start clicking on our links.
