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22 June 2010
It was the summer of 2002. A small 2 bedroom, 1 bath, non-air-conditioned house we rented in the north-side ghetto of Knoxville, TN... where we spent our time. We picked guitars on a $25 sectional we had purchased from the Goodwill down the street and swilled cheap brew on the other couch, on the front porch, most evenings. We also fought our 56K dial-up modem in the attempt to keep up with our college buddies long since gone home from school, as best we could anyway.
Long, long before Facebook and MySpace were what the "kids did." It was a special time. There was no "poking" or "friending." It was a peaceful time. It was the time of AIM, when in order to be connected over the ether, you had to wait around to hear the opening door sound of someone's logon and then go see who it was. It wasn't the easiest, but it was what we had.
Back then, we discovered what would become an enjoyable and repeatable way to waste more time. It was called "Hot or Not." You know you remember it, stop lying. "Hot or Not" was a website for the vainest of people to post pictures of themselves, have it flash up at random on someone else's computer, wherein they had the opportunity to rate you 1-10. Lovely. And later, one could log on to see just how Hot one was. It was not unlike today's chat roulette, just, you know, with less penis.
Oh those were the days, spent gawking and laughing at the pure insanity of it all, and coming to a group conclusion (after the laughter died down), making a few parting shots about your lifestyle decisions, clicking a rate button and moving on. Rinse and repeat. And go get a beer every so often. Good times.
But I digress... This is a sports blog, no? I was sitting last night trying to think of a new commentary series to start here on our (not always) College (never) Daily (mostly) Sports Blog, when I remembered those hot afternoons and evenings all those years ago spent making fun of, well, you. And the SD Hot or Not series was born. Installment 1, GO!
HOT: Erin Andrews. Yeah, yeah. That's the easy way to get started, I know. So be it. Her contract with ESPN is up at the end of this month and she will be able to test the waters of free agency. You know, Erin, we could use a TV personality here at SD. What we can't provide in financial compensation could well be made up for in witty banter, perversely insulting third-party dialogue during sporting events, somewhat clean dishes, and Bud Light. Think about it.
NOT: Lady Gaga. Yeah, your music is catchy sometimes, and aside from all the hermaphrodite rumors, I can see where some males would find you attractive. Pretty much, you can do anything you want and get away with it. But playing with your boobies and chugging whiskey in a major league locker room after a game, you may not. Joe Girardi apparently has no issue with it, but as a baseball guy, I do. Stay in the stands with the rest of the asinine Yankee fans. It's not cute. It's sad. Oh, and Mets... don't encourage her.
HOT: Rosenblatt Stadium. As I believe I have made abundantly clear over the years, I fancy the stick and ball sport above all else, and as a former college player myself, Johnny Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha has always been a dream destination of mine. Sadly, I will never get to see it with my own eyes. The 2010 College World Series marks the end of its 61-year storied history as the pinnacle of college baseball. There's a new stadium under construction downtown and once the currently underway series is complete, Rosenblatt will become a parking lot for the zoo next door. Here's to you, Johnny. Thanks for the memories. Cheers!
NOT: Barack Obama. No, despite your most intense wishes, reader(s), I'm not about to get all politico on you. But come on, Chief, at least do the wave when it comes by!
NOT: France. What a week for French "sports." Not only are your soccer side falling apart in South Africa, basically surrendering to itself (surprise), but you had such an opportunity to steer the spotlight away from your idiocy on Sunday night. Instead, French qualifier Gregory Havret, summed up what people the world over believe about you. You are a smug and entitled people with little respect for anyone else. And your food sucks. Havret, fresh off a lovely run at the US Open to finish second, spent his entire post match interview whining about missed putts and talking about how good he really was, not once congratulating first-time Major-winner Graeme McDowell. Yep. Harry Dunne had it right.
HOT: NBA Draft Live Blog! Tomorrow night! Here! Stick around, for if nothing else, to see how long we can continue to run this joke into the ground! Year 4 and counting!
That'll wrap it up for the inaugural edition, folks, except to say that I was recently given the nickname "Augie" and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it just yet.
