If you're one of the five people who've read my posts so far here on Stadium Drives (hi mom!), you might have noticed the occasional soccer reference. The truth is, I'm completely obsessed with the game. But, at the same time I'm relatively new to the whole thing. World Cup 2006 got me on board and I've been scouring message boards and comment threads ever since. I've learned a lot in the past four years, and it seems only appropriate to pass on my knowledge. And if I get called queer by Cohron a few times in the process, so be it.

In case you didn't know, the World Cup is less than four months away. I'm so excited I just peed a little bit writing that last sentence. With this, my first post in a series leading up to the Cup I'm going to answer some questions from the SD crew.

Why does everybody care so much about the national teams? (me) Good question, Gage! Those of you with Olympic fever (get well soon) don't need an explanation here, but it comes down to is national pride and tradition. Soccer was invented in the 19th century in England and some of the very first organized matches were between England and Scotland, so it goes way back. The one other factor that I really love is how none of my favorite players can ever change teams. Money dominates soccer in the leagues and players change teams constantly. But, your favorite countrymen can't and never will never play for a rival country. So, when Landon Donovan takes a leak on the field in Mexico, you know he means it.

Does the USA have a legitimate chance of winning?
No, nope, not a chance. If you can't get over that, you're not going to be able to enjoy the World Cup. I certainly hope I'm wrong, but the US team is improving every year, but still not quite ready to challenge for the title. In future posts the line I'll get into the players, strengths and weaknesses to make it more clear.

Okay, besides USA, who else should I root for? (mlb)

(Click Read More..) There's definitely no one answer. The one team you should not root for if you are a USA fan is Mexico. It's not just a rivalry, there's a lot of bad blood there (if you didn't hear about the Mexico fans throwing urine and vomit on Donovan, it happened). A lot of Americans root based on their heritage. You might have spotted an "Italia" shirt or two on Jersey Shore this winter. Personally, I can't bring myself to root for my German roots (another painful US Soccer memory). If you really can't pick a team, go with Brazil. Not only are they the perennial favorites but they tend to play a really fun-to-watch style of soccer. There will be at least a few "How did he do that?" highlights out of any Brazilian team and they'll almost certainly go deep in the tournament. Me? I'll be rooting for Spain and Argentina. Why? Well both have players that play for my favorite club team (Liverpool) and both have a legitimate chance to win the whole thing. Plus, they both have rad jerseys.

How can I watch these nancy boys dive and flop and writhe around on the ground every game?(bru)
Well, you can get pissed off about it like every other fan and hope the refs can sack up and give out some yellow cards for diving. Diving is a problem in soccer, but it's particularly bad at the World Cup and I think I can explain why. You see, players for this tournament will be coming from a TON of different domestic leagues (I just counted 20 off the top of my head) and every league had their own refs who all call the game a little bit differently. For example, the games in the English Premier League are notoriously rough whereas games in Spain are called much tighter. This effect, coupled with the grand occasion of the whole thing tends to make players more apt to dive. That said, it's disgraceful and has to be stopped.

One other note here: try sprinting full out and have somebody kick you with their studs up in the side of the knee. That shit hurts. Sometimes you have to roll around on the ground wincing.

Are there hot soccer fans? (yeary)
Oh god yes. See Brazil. Argentina's not bad either (NSFW).

On that note, I'm out. More to come in the next few months...

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