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24 February 2010
You wouldn't think it, but we get hundreds (if not thousands) of emails a week from StadiumDrives.com readers. Some of them tell us how great we are, others how bad we are. Often, we'll get tips of stories. Sometimes, sites will even let us know that they stole our work, it was a hit on their site and thank us. Others just write in for advice or have questions about their life. I decided to give the old inbox a cleaning again and pick out some of the best (and worst) emails.* If you can't decipher our e-mail address from the sidebar and would like to send something in, send it to stadiumdrives at yahoo.com.
We broke up years ago. I moved away because of you. Please stop text messaging me. - (Name withheld) (Location withheld)
Why do these emails keep showing up in here?
Be honest with me, what did you think of my press conference last week? - T. Woods, Florida or Mississippi
I thought it was fine. You did what you wanted to do and cleared the air on some issues. What I don't get is the backlash about how you sounded like a robot during it. For years, what has everyone said about you? "Tiger's not human!" "Tiger's a machine out there!" Everyone thought you were a robot when you were playing golf, but when you're speaking you're supposed to be human? That's quite the double-standard. And, last time I checked, being a good public speaker isn't a prerequisite for being a good golfer.
Does anyone know what the hell AJ Ogilvy was yelling about after getting an and-one the other night against Kentucky? - The Buffalo, So Ill
That's a great question. Here are a few possibilities:
- "Why is One Tree Hill not showing a new episode on Monday night?!?"
- "I used too much hydrogen peroxide and my scalp is (expletive) burning, mate!"
- "The shot I'm going to take at the end of this game is going to be super gay!!!"
Click "Read More" or AJ Ogilvy will yell at you.
I hear we may lose you as a fan of the Wolverines. - David B., Ann Arbor, MI (formerly with Domino's)
Here's the deal, Dave. This program has been in a downward spiral since September 1st, 2007. Yes, ever since Appy State came into the Big House and won, things have not been well. For one, Lloyd Carr wasn't fired twenty minutes after the game. Then, Rich Rodriguez was hired. What had Rich Rodriguez ever won? The Big East? That's like winning a medal in curling, a bronze medal. Rodriguez has won 8 (EIGHT!!!) games in two seasons at Michigan; wins, by the way, that are soon to be vacated. So, yes, I am a frustrated fan thnking about finding a new football program to support (Hey Lane!). One team that I will never stop supporting: the team at Domino's! That new pizza is amazing.
Did Gage actually just write a post on the World Cup? The World Cup is still four months away! Soccer sucks. - Multiple readers
Yes, SD Faithful, Gage did write a post about the World Cup in February. But, it's okay. I will try and make his post timely for you. Think of the World Cup like the Olympics. Do you watch gymnastics during the Olympics? Of course you do! Do you ever watch gymnastics for an extended period of time (longer than it takes to figure out which girls are hot) outside of the Olympics? Hell no! Treat soccer the same way. There are two reasons we watch gymnastics during the Olympics (not counting the obvious): because they are the best gymnasts in the world and pride in country. Well, the same principles can be used for the World Cup. The best soccer in the world will be played in the World Cup. The tricky part with the pride in country is that American soccer is not very good. Find a good team to root for (I chose Cameroon because of FIFA06 on XBOX reasons) and you'll be in business. Plus, soccer is a great sport to watch and drink beer. You know, because nothing ever happens.
Can you believe I got suspended? - Tony K., Washington, D.C.
I can believe you got suspended, but not for the reason you actually got suspended for. You poked fun at Hannah Storm and Chris Berman. Apparently, the Berman jokes were what actually got you suspended. Here's my question: Who doesn't make fun of Chris Berman? Have you ever talked to someone that said, "Man, I love Berman. That guy is so good at what he does." I sure as hell haven't. You should not be suspended for doing what almost every American does when they see Berman. What I have an issue with is you going at Hannah Storm and her outfits. Hannah Storm is a super hot cougar. If I'm sick and home from work, nothing makes me feel better than seeing her in a short skirt and hooker boots. You SHOULD be suspended for making Hannah Storm dress more conservatively.
You freeloading (expletive). We know how you sit at your desk everyday listening to ESPNRadio, then during the commercials flip and listen to us. Well, this month, you are screwed because you're almost out of hours. You know what happens when you're almost out of listening hours? We play the (expletive) worst music possible to try and get you to give us $36. Just pay us the damn money or we'll keep putting Coldplay in your playlists! - Pandora
Wow. Has this happened to anyone else? I'm on hour 37 of the month (you get 40 free hours) and have heard the worst possible music all day. This is really bad. If they start pumping Dave Matthews Band tunes at me, I'm finding a new site. No, no I'm not. But, I will click the "Thumbs down" link with a greater fervor than normal.
I saw where Taylor Swift asked you if she was hot last week... So... am I hot? - A. Bledel
Oh, yes you are. You don't look like an alien and you were great in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (1 and 2). Also, your IMDB bio mentions that you love the World Equestrian Games. I'm sure you know by now that they're in Lexington this fall. I hear hotels are already sold out, so if you need a place to stay, I'm sure we can figure something out.
I know he just won two National Titles in two years, but can I be a little upset at Roy Williams for not recruiting a decent PG to replace Ty Lawson? - Jared G., NC
Yes you can. Roy Williams had to know that Larry Drew was not the answer at point for this year. What did he do to alleviate the problem? He signed a 2009 class with two SGs and three PFs. I don't know if his ego got in the way (not wanting to admit that Drew wasn't that good), or what, but UNC's guard play is atrocious. They've got NBA players on their frontline, but no one can get them the basketball. Have no fear, though. Roy Boy has turned the recruiting charm back on and has Scouthoops.com's #1 SF (Harrison Barnes), #2 SG (Reggie Bullock) and #5 PG (Kendall Marshall) coming in the fall. Expect all three to start and expect all three to have an immediate impact.
You think soccer is boring? The NFL combine is on TV! Who wants to watch people run the 40 yard dash? - Gage
Hey, I'm with you on this one. The NFL combine is stupid, scouts should be watching kids actually play football to determine if they should be drafted. And the fact that this is on TV? I'd rather watch an episode of Frank the Entertainer In A Basement Affair than watch the combine.
If Frank the Entertainer isn't a good place to end, I don't know what is.
*As always, these e-mails are fabricated. If you'd like to get an e-mail published, you know the address.
