TPS Week 5; "Dear World... Sorry Again."

Written by Grubby | 02 October 2009

Nevermind Lane Kiffin calling out his team on the radio.  Nevermind David Oku telling the world via live chat that he hasn't been hit hard all year, or that if you want to play XBOX Live with him, just lookup gamertag DROKUJR.  Nevermind Tebow's week off and Brubaker's care packages.  Nevermind Michigan and it's 4-0 record being a 3.5 point dog to a 1-3 State.  Nevermind that Bama bet on the road.  Nevermind.

We got some games tomorrow!

Three games with both teams ranked, plus some top shelf SEC inter-division play.  And a boatload of good games between 7 and 10.  What are you gonna do?  Boil some beer into brats?  I tried, no one will with me.

As you can see in the sidebar, Holly and Bru are inching ahead of the field with Cohron in tow.  I have no excuse for myself (1/7 last week), and have never had one for Burnsy.  ERIC!! and Colin are comfortably in the middle, where it's warm and cozy beside two-time defending champ Ian.

As a good friend of mine has said  in narration of our weekend activities... "Lookout world, here we don't come!"

Pittsburgh at Louisville

Louisville - No way in hell the Wannstache takes this one on the road. - ERIC!!

I think I speak for every college football fan everywhere when I say, with all due respect to this game, "Who cares?" - Bru

There are six high school teams in Louisville better than both teams playing in this game Friday night. - Cohron

Does the Mustache still coach in Pitt? Does Louisville still play football? The answers to these and so many more questions tonight. - Burnsy

The Wannstache already had his Inevitable Upset Loss. Now it's time for the Inexplicable Big East Title Run that gets snuffed out by a loss to Cincy. - Colin

No. 22 Michigan at Michigan State

I'm happy for Cohron's Wolverines as they appear to be good again. But it comes at a price. No longer will we be using the phrase "Michigan looks confused". Ok- maybe we'll hang onto it for a

I just learned yesterday that Sparty has kevlar in his chestplate. That's right, he's bulletproof. So, Spartans, obviously. - ERIC!!

If it weren't for Illinois we'd be talking about just how much the Spartans have quit on Mark Dantonio. Then again, we'd still be talking about the Big Televen. - Colin

A team that is 4-0 is an underdog playing a team that is 1-3. That makes about as much sense as how Charlie weis gets his FUPA in his pants every day. - Cohron

I'm just about ready to jump on the Taint Force bandwagon. - Burnsy

No. 4 LSU at No. 18 Georgia

LSU eats your boiled peanuts. THEY EAT THEM UP!!! - ERIC!!

A "Willie Martinez Sucks" week is the perfect thing to cure what might be ailing LSU. - Colin

Mark Richt is really digging the coaching debacle at FSU right about now. - Burnsy

I have no sarcastic comment for this game. Um...yay for blonde girls from Georgia!!! - Cohron

Here's hoping for a 14-overtime game that leaves the Tigers emotionally and physically drained for their Oct. 10 game against Florida - Bru

UCLA at Stanford

Kevin Craft is the starter for UCLA at QB. That's worth a couple of picks resulting in easy rushing TDs. - Colin

This may be the only time in the world that I would choose nerds from Palo Alto over athletes from South Central LA. - Cohron

Why, if UCLA can beat the Vols, they can beat anyone - ERIC!!

I once wrote that UCF should hire Rick Neuheisel over George O'Leary. Just sayin'. - Burnsy

Did you know Stanford has a top-15 recruiting class next year? Seriously. I'm not joking. Stanford. Top-15 class. Let that set in. Stanford. Unfreakingbelievable - Bru

Auburn at Tennessee

There are only so many times Lane Kiffin can make Jonathan Crompton hand it off before Auburn sets Neyland on fire. Gas Malzahn can re-build your Chris Todd model. He will make him better! - Colin

I chose Tennessee solely because Gene Chizik doesn't coach them. - Cohron

I think Tenny's D will do for the War Damn Eagles - ERIC!!

All jokes aside, I think there are good things in store for the Lane Kiffin era. And it starts with beating the powerhouse that is Auburn. - Burnsy

Both teams have new coaches looking to rebound proud programs that fell on hard times last year. One coach came in firing off his mouth at every chance, theorizing that he would energize the program by ranting and raving at more accomplished coaches. The other came in more quietly, and amidst criticism of his hiring, has simply gotten to work on building a quality football team. As we check in this week, the loudmouth has a 2-2 record, yet to his credit, has made a ton of headlines. The quiet coach has a 4-0 record, and oddly enough, seems more focused on making his team better than talking trash with opposing coaches. Hmm...wonder if there's a lesson in there somewhere - Bru

No. 7 USC at No. 24 California

I'm going to call this Cal's bounce-back game. I'm probably a moron, but I've been made arrogant by my strapping five correct picks from last week. - ERIC!!

A Jeff Tedford Collapse never lasts just one week. The stench lingers for at least four weeks. The '09 Remix won't be quite as spectacular as the '07 Malaise that started in Corvallis, but it should be pretty good. - Colin

Dear Cal, Thanks for reminding us why we never take you seriously for an entire season. Enjoy the Emerald Bowl again. Sincerely, the BCS Committee - Bru

I bet the hippies at Cal wear Snuggies to games. Ergo, they must die. - Cohron

Because they screwed me last week so they would screw me again if I didn't pick them. At least this way Cal will screw me to my face. Gently. - Burnsy

Sign Found outside YeeHaw Industries in Knoxville.  "Dear Dirty Hippys,  We agreed to play you in kickball after you constant whining.  On Saturday only 2 of you showed up.  Dirty Hippys - 2, Vagetarians - 0." - Grubby

No. 8 Oklahoma at No. 17 Miami (FL)

Neither offense will be particularly comfortable. OU's O-line is the worst part of the Sooners, and Miami obviously isn't far enough along to handle real defenses. This results in a "Big XII over ACC" style decision. - Colin

Is Florida's Big 3 finally back? Shut up, national media. - Burnsy

Man, this is a really great game... in the early 90's. I say OU wins this one. - ERIC!!

No way the U loses 2 in a row right? After all, the U is back! I swore I heard that somewhere - Bru

I really want this to be the U from 1989. I need 2LiveCrew on the sidelines, NWA being played over the loudspeakers and multiple personal fouls for late hits. Sadly, in 2009, it would be Soulja Boy on the sidelines, Flo Rida being played over the loudspeakers and Randy Shannon having an aneurysm during personal fouls. The U will never truly be back. - Cohron

Comment of the week: Regarding Tim Tebow

In related news, you'll all be happy to know that Mr. Tebow enjoyed my homemade chicken noodle soup and was able to fly home the next day. He thought it was a little weird when he woke up and I was in his room sobbing and holding his hand, but he got over it. - Bru