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TPS Week 2; "Everybody back in the boat!"

Written by Grubby | 11 September 2009

tps

This was the direct quote from one Mr. Ashley Burns last week before submitting his week one picks, "This is going to be awesome because I don't know squat about college football this year."  Right before he picked a perfect week, which, if you'll recall means that he got to choose his teammates and name both teams.  I must be honest though, I was pulling for 2 specific people to get that honor.  One was "The Gentleman" himself.

Coming in second were Bru and Cohron with 6, Holly, ERIC!! and myself with 5, defending champion Ian with 4, and Colin with 3.  I did take the time out of my busy schedule this week to explain to him that picking winners was the objective, and as we sit, he's 1-1 on the week (with everyone else).

The first team is Burnsy, Cohron, Stabby, and ERIC: Everyone Loves Tim Tebow.  The JV squad will be called Lane Kiffin is a Crossdresser.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The score as of last Sunday is 23-18.

On with the picks!  After the jump!  What are we yelling about?!

tpswk2b

Clemson at No. 15 Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech. Clemson's coach is named Dabo. Seriously. Does that sound at all like a football coach's name? Does it even sound like something a self-respecting adult would want to be called? Would you trust someone named Dabo? I think not - Bru
he players at GT should be able to concentrate more on football, because the girls there are ugly. The sorostitutes at Clemson are hot. - Cohron
Gotta be Georgia Tech. Engineers are cool. I know this because I've spent time with Grubby. - XP
GA Tech over Climpson. To borrow from Holly: "BEEEEEEEEEEEES." - Colin

Colorado at Toledo
Colorado - Wait, you mean to tell me that Dan Hawkins isn't panning out? Who could have EVER seen that coming? - Cohron
COLORADO at Toledo - Toledo is currently ranked below UCF. This is what the scientists call a gimme. - Burnsy
Looking at Dan Hawkins, I can't shake the feeling that he has an inner John Daly that's screaming to get out. I say Toledo pulls the upset, and Hawkins ends up in rehab by the end of the season - XP
Colorado over Toledo. After shamefully losing at home to Colorado State and sitting there watching the Ram faithful take rush the field ON THE ROAD, the Buffaloes have to save at least a modicum of dignity and not lose to a MAC team. It's one thing to lose to an in-state, Mountain West member. It's another thing to lose to Toledo. As in, a firing thing for Dan Hawkins. - Colin
Colorado. I have very personal reasons for hating Toledo. Besides, this is DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL! - Bru

Duke at Army
I really want to think Cutcliffe can pull this off... but I mean, they have a whole Army. - Grubby
Duke's team is fighting the swine flu, but even that isn't enough to get them an "L" at the USMA - XP
I hope this game is on primetime. - Burnsy
The average IQ of Duke players is about 30 points higher than that of Army players. - Cohron
Army. Anyone plan on watching this game this weekend? Hello? Anyone there? - Bru
Army over Duke. Purely a "Rich Ellerson coached Cal Poly really well last season and got Army its first season opening win in a while" gut instinct. Also, Duke losing to Richmond (I-AA champs, but still) didn't hurt. - Colin

No. 18 Notre Dame at Michigan
Rick Rod is going to do it. All Michigan supporters have to do is close their eyes, and shout "WE BELIEVE!!!" No, wait, that's how you revive a dead fairy. Still, UM wins in the big house. - XP
Notre Dame is a guarantee in this game. How could they lose to a lowly Michigan team? Charlie Weis is going to be the coach of the year. Clausen for Heisman! ND has risen again!!! - Cohron
Michigan. In a repeat of last year, I will NEVER choose Notre Dame. Ever. Weis sucks. Clausen sucks. Lou Holtz sucks. South Bend sucks. Need I go on? - Bru
Michigan over ND. Not that I know what to make of either team right now. This is a "take the safe home pick" and "I'm a raging USC homer" selection. - Colin
I really want to pick Michigan, but I also really want to watch Bubble Boy on Comedy Central instead of this. - Burnsy

UCLA at Tennessee
This could be ugly, I'm talking Samantha Ronson ugly. - Cohron
UT - This doesn't change the fact that Lane Kiffen wears women's clothes. - Burnsy
Who wins this game is secondary to the fact that Holly and Joan are going to introduce me to the tailgating scene beforehand. Liquid Courage tells me Tennessee puts forth a valiant effort at home and ekes out the victory. /applepolish. - XP
Tennessee over UCLA. Squads with mediocrities (Jonathan Crompton, with the illusion of multiple TDs against WKU) and unknown quantities (Kevin Prince, who's only played against San Diego State) at quarterback, in rebuilding modes. Low scoring and ugly, I'll take the team with a stingier defense. Also, see "I'm a raging USC homer" justification used for UM/ND pick. - Colin
WE'RE BETTER THAN THEM AT EVERY POSITION!!! - Grubby
Tennessee. I give up. I can't name a player for UCLA. Seriously. One player! I can't do it. Who the hell is on that team anyway? - Bru

South Carolina at No. 21 Georgia
Watch this game for camera shots of the crowd, the football may awful. - Cohron
Georgia. Insert Stephen Garcia drinking joke here - Bru
Snore fest. - Burnsy
Groan* Do we still have to choose Garcia's stat line? No? Then my prediction is that Georgia wins big and UGA celebrates by lifting his leg on a State Trooper. - XP
South Carolina over UGA. Maybe it's different between the hedges, but home field advantage can't make the Bulldogs' play selection any better against what's likely just as good or a better D than Oklahoma State. - Colin
I'm thinking by halftime I'd rather be watching coed indoor soccer. - Grubby

No. 3 USC at No. 8 Ohio State
Ohio smells funny (tm).  - Grubby
USC over Ohio State. This wouldn't have been as easy if the Buckeyes hadn't had to really fight off Navy last week. We're not talking 32-point embarrassment, more like 24-point margin shaming, so there is that little victory. - Colin
ooh. This is nice. Great early game. I have a gut feeling that Pete's Trojans can win in the Buckeye Bowl. - XP
Ohio State. Ok- I missed this one last year. But I'm going right back to it. A home game. At night. A week of intense practices following an uneasy opening game win. This is all set up perfectly for the Buckeyes. Besides, they always show up in big games, right? - Bru
It's Ohio State. They suck. - Burnsy

Comment of the week: I'm going to cheer for Ohio State... on my birthday... somebody get me a beer. - Cohron

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